September 2021 Newsletter

Stardate October (written Sept) 2021.....or should I say Covid date October 2021. Covid seems to rule the world as once again our thoughts have become focused on the virus that simply won't go away, the ultimate distraction if you like. It would appear the only way to beat this bad flu is for us all to vaccinate and limit its potency. That being said, for all of the infections we have had, there has been only one sad death (so far), that of a 90 year old Woman. I guess the danger of this virus is its ability to spread so easily and potentially overwhelm our outdated health system. The question then has to be asked, with all of the billions of dollars spent on Covid lockdowns and support, EV rebates, gun buybacks, etc etc, why was there never enough money in the budget for upgrading our Hospitals, health, roading, policing, and education infrastructure? We could have had a state of the art health system with the capacity to cope had any politician thought to build for the future.

FYI….I find it interesting the word COVID is so close to the word COVERT…..two things so similarly spelt going on at the same time….what are the odds! One is a distraction and the other requires distraction to fly under the radar…..just saying. I guess I am just a car salesman for a reason. 😬😀. Right, apparently I am a bit long winded with my newsletters and so I will look to shorten things up this month… without further adieu, this month my theme is all about helping others as we come back to earth and ever closer to level one. Northlanders helping Northlanders for the good of all Northlanders.

Brain Teasers.

1. A bus driver was heading down a street in Colorado. He went right past a stop sign without stopping, turned left where there was a “no left turn” sign, and went the wrong way on a one-way street. Then he went on the left side of the road past a cop car. Yet, he didn’t break any traffic laws. Why not?

2.Two men come to a river. There is no bridge, the water is freezing cold and there is only one single-seated boat on the shore. However, both men manage to cross the river to the other side. How is this possible?

3. One horse walked for a whole day and at the end, it turned out that two of its legs covered 30 km, whereas the other two covered 31 km. How is this possible?

4.Two friends each own a horse and made a bet as to whose horse is slower. After wondering for days what is the fairest way to figure out who wins the bet, they finally decided to ask a famous wise hermit for help. Upon giving them his advice, the two friends jumped on the horses and started racing back to the city as fast as they could. What did the hermit say?

5 James sent this beautiful photo to a contest, hoping he would win first prize. The contest organizers, however, realized that the photo was fake and disqualified James. How did they figure out the picture was not genuine?

We have high expectations for the all-new Sportage and, as a limited time offer, are making the all-new LX 2.0-litre two-wheel-drive petrol variant available from only $34,990 plus ORC’s! Pre order now, no deposit and cancel for any reason prior to registration. Orders are essential if you wish to secure your new Sportage at this special price. Call Steve on 0274454144 or David on 021716865, or drop in to our yard in Port Road. Don't miss out, place your order today, no strings attached!!

Limited model Sportage pictured.

An interesting comparison with our sister company…….

Funny Story…. As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper's cemetery in the Queensland backcountry. As I was not familiar with the bush, I got lost and, being a typical man, I didn't stop for directions. I finally arrived over an hour late and saw that the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch. I felt bad and apologized to the men for being late. I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place and earth covered most of it. I didn't know what else to do, so I started to play. The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like I've never played before for this poor, homeless man. And as I played 'Amazing Grace,' the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept together. When I finished I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car. Though my head hung low, my heart was full. As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, "I never seen nothin' like that before and I've been puttin' in septic tanks for twenty years." Apparently I was still lost…

Another funny story.. I was testing children in my Dublin Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting into heaven. I asked them, “If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into heaven?” “NO!” the children answered. “If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the garden, and kept everything tidy, would that get me into heaven?” Again, the answer was “NO!”. By now I was starting to smile. “Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave sweets to all the children, and loved my husband, would that get me into heaven?” Again, they all answered “NO!”. I was just bursting with pride for them. I continued, "Then how can I get into heaven?" A six year-old boy shouted out: "YUV GOTTA BE FOOK’N DEAD MISS !" 😀😄😂 It’s a curious race, the Irish.

During a visit to a mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was that defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized. "Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup, and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub." "Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup. "No," said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed by the wall or near the window?" 😀😂😇

The Burdens of Life...wise words. A lecturer, when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a glass of water and asked, “How heavy is this glass of water?” Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g. The lecturer replied, “The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long you try to hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance. In each case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.” He continued, “And that's the way it is with stress management. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, the burden will become increasingly heavy and we won't be able to carry on.” “As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden. So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work down: don't carry it home. You can pick it up tomorrow. Whatever burdens you're carrying now, let them down for a moment if you can.” So, my friend, put down anything that may be a burden to you right now. Don't pick it up again until after you've rested a while.

Here are some great ways of dealing with the burdens of life:

Just accept that, some days you're the pigeon and some days, you're the statue. Always keep your words soft and sweet – just in case you have to eat them. Always wear stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it. Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be "recalled" by their maker. If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to be kind to others. Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won't have a leg to stand on. Nobody cares if you can't dance well, just get up and dance. Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late. The second mouse gets the cheese. When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live. You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person. Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once. We could learn a lot from crayons… Some are sharp, some are pretty, and some are dull. Some have weird names and all are different colours, but they all have to live in the same box. A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

That's it from me for September. Hopefully not too long this month. In short, we are so fortunate to have Kia as a brand. Orders continue to flood in the doors despite extended delays and wait times for new cars to arrive. Thank you all for your patience,support, and friendship. It means alot to all of us here at Northland Kia. Until next month...stay covid savvy. Scan in and wear your mask….and vaccinate if you haven't already. Don't forget the awesome Sportage deal on the new model LX Sportage for pre orders….unbeatable!

Brain Teaser Answers.

1.The bus driver was not driving his bus, he was walking.

2.The two men approach the river from the opposite shores. One man paddles over, then the other paddles back.

3.The horse was operating a mill and was traveling in a circle. Thus its outer legs covered a larger distance than its inner legs.

4.He told them to switch their horses so whoever gets to the city first will win the bet.

5.Look at the moon, there is a faint star visible in front of the moon. This is not possible in reality.