May 2021 Newsletter

Kia ora everyone, how quickly a month goes by! The world continues to be a tumultuous place with conflict, famine, and covid impacting on the lives of millions whose lives are just as important to them as our lives are to us. Spare a thought for those who are less fortunate and suffering as a result of mankind's inability to be tolerant and accepting and to just simply get on. Remember the Beauty Queens we all laughed at when interviewed having used the cliche’s “world peace and an end to world poverty and hunger” as their vision for the world…...well as it turns out, they were right. If only that level of change were possible the whole world would be just like NZ. Once if we all need reminding.... regardless of your economic standing in life....take a look around you and be thankful every day. Things could be a whole lot worse! Add some everyday kindness to this and God's own country becomes not just a becomes reality. For that reason my theme this month is KINDNESS.

Brain Teasers.

1. A hen and a half lays an egg and a half in a day and a half. How many eggs does one hen lay in one day?

2.There is a lightbulb inside a closet. The door is closed, and you cannot see if the light is on or off through the door. However, you know the light is off to start. Outside of the closet, there are three light switches. One of the switches controls the lightbulb in the closet. You can flip the switches however you want, but once you open the door, you can no longer touch the switches. How do you figure out without a doubt which switch controls the light?

3. Adam and Eve play rock-paper-scissors 10 times. You know that: Adam uses rock three times, scissors six times, and paper once. Eve uses rock twice, scissors four times, and paper four times. There are no ties in all 10 games.The order of games is unknown. Who wins? By how much

4. A farmer lives on a small plot of land next to a river. One day, he travels across the river in a small boat and purchases a fox, a chicken, and a bag of corn from a feed and supply store. When the farmer returns to his boat to cross the river again and go home, he realizes he has a dilemma.The farmer can only take one item in his small boat at a time, otherwise he risks capsizing. He cannot leave the fox alone with the chicken, because the fox will eat the chicken. He cannot leave the chicken alone with the corn, because the chicken with eat the corn.How does the farmer successfully get all three items across the river? For those who need a little help: The farmer cannot leave the chicken alone with anything—it will eat the corn or be eaten by the fox. So, how does the farmer get all three items across the river without ever leaving the chicken alone with the fox or the bag of corn?

5.You work in a factory that boxes apples and oranges to ship around the world. One day, the labeling machine goes haywire and incorrectly labels the crates of fruit.Your co-worker decides to play a game. He pulls up three crates of fruit and tells you that one of them has apples in it, one has oranges in it, and the last one has both apples and oranges in it. You can see that one of the crates is labeled "A" for apples, another is labeled "O" for oranges, and the third is labeled "A+O" for both apples and oranges. Your co-worker reminds you that all three crates are incorrectly labeled.You get to pick one crate, and your coworker will pull a fruit out of it and show you what it is. You get to do this only one time. How can you determine—without a doubt—which crate has apples, which one has oranges, and which one has both?

Paddy was very fond of his beer and drank it at every opportunity. His wife however was not so keen on Paddy drinking and banned beer from the house. Desperate to drink beer again Paddy racked his brain for an idea that would bring beer back into his life with his wife's blessing. One studious day Paddy stumbled on an article extolling the virtues of soaking in a bath of beer. Beautiful soft wrinkle free skin for the woman lucky enough to have a bath full of beer to soak in. Paddy immediately left the article for discovery by his wife who upon reading insisted Paddy now buy a barrel of beer for her to try soaking in. Paddy's plan was clear in his mind…...fill the bath with the full barrel of beer for his wife to soak in. Then he would rush down the stairs and under the bathroom floor, disconnect the drain pipe from the bath, and redirect the beer back into the barrel when the plug was pulled....brilliant! Paddys plan swung into action, he filled the bath….his wife hopped in….he raced down under the bathroom and redirected the drain pipe…..the plug came out and the beer began to flow….excitement grew....the barrel the top….a full barrel….plus a mug full….bugga! The Kia family of vehicles...simply the best!

On the car front, another eventful month with continuing record sales….or should I say orders! It would seem Kia is becoming the must have brand for those wanting quality and exceptional value for money. I can't argue with that as I have a front row seat to the future of Kia as Kia continues to win accolade after accolate. Exciting and inspiring are just two words that maybe don't even do justice to the reality as Kia moves ahead….on top of it’s game and the world! Bring it on…..and I can't wait!

If a man speaks his mind in a forest, but no woman hears him, is he still wrong?

May sees an end to being able to order current model Sportage making way for the new model expected early next year. Demand for the current model Sportage has been so great that we have orders for more than can actually be produced for New Zealand and so Kia NZ have been working hard behind the scenes to ensure no one misses out and all orders are filled….what a good problem to have with too many people wanting your product, a good problem but a problem nonetheless. As of the end of May beginning of June we are taking orders for the new Sportage. I can't give you any pricing or any spec beyond basic, mid, or high spec. I can't even give you accurate colors to choose from or show you what it looks like. I don't have a demonstrator or an accurate delivery time frame. What I can tell you is that it is going to be the most awesome Sportage ever and that is no small feat. I can also tell you that if you wish to place an order we will not ask for a deposit and as always give you an option to cancel or change your order at any time for any reason. I can tell you demand is going to be through the roof and so I strongly urge you to call in and place your order in the knowledge that you have our guaranteed no questions asked cancel anytime policy. That way you have all the time in the world to think about whether you have done the right thing with so many unknowns around pricing etc all the while confirming your place at the front of the queue should you wish to carry on…….a no brainer really!! I am not entirely sure what the new Sportage is going to look like but below is a teaser picture from Kia NZ. Click on the picture to be taken to Kia NZ's register your interest page and add your details to stay informed.

How to handle rejection…… Prof. Herbert Millington Chair – Search Committee, Whitson University, College Hill Dear Professor Millington, Thank you for your letter of March 16. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me an assistant professor position in your department. This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates, it is impossible for me to accept all refusals. Despite Whitson’s outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my needs at this time. Therefore, I will assume the position of assistant professor in your department this August. I look forward to seeing you then. Best of luck in rejecting future applicants. Sincerely, Chris L. Jensen……..😂😜🤔.

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his beautiful, blonde neighbour came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it, looked inside, slammed it shut, and stormed back into her house. A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox, again opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went. As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came again. She marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever. Puzzled by her actions, the man’s gestures signified “Is something wrong?” To which she replied, “There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps telling me I’ve got mail!” 😃😃😄😉.

When it's ok to laugh at others misfortune………………...

An MIT linguistics professor was lecturing his class the other day. “In English,” he said, “a double negative forms a positive. However, in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative remains a negative. But there isn’t a single language, not one, in which a double positive can express a negative.” A voice from the back of the room said, “Yeah, right.”....🤨🤪😁😂

That's it from me for another month. Hopefully next month I will have a heap more info on the new Sportage though it goes without saying it is going to be awesome! Don't forget the no catches ordering system we operate and most of all, don't forget to order your new model Sportage asap. Ensure you are at the front of the queue…...or as offered by us….cancel your order at any time for any reason… don't get any less pressure than that! That goes for all other Kia models as well….. Stay well and remember to be kind…..😃😃 😇.

Brain teaser Answers.

1. If 1.5 hens lay 1.5 eggs in 1.5 days, it must be that one hen would lay one egg in the same time period: 1.5 days. Now, if one hen lays one egg in 1.5 days, it means that one hen would lay only ⅔'s of an egg in one day. So the answer is ⅔'s of an egg.

2. Flip switch number 1 and wait a few minutes. Flip switch number 1 back to its original position, and then immediately flip switch number two Open the door. If the light is on, then switch number 2 controls it. If the light is off, then go and feel the bulb with your hand. If the bulb is hot, the switch number 1 controls it, and if the bulb is cold, then switch number 3, the one you did not touch, controls it.

3. The key to solving this riddle is realizing that Adam played scissors six times. Because there were no ties, that means Eve didn't play scissors in any of those six games. Now look at the various hands Eve did play. Because she played scissors four times, and none of those could line up with one of the six times Adam played scissors, she must have played all six of her other hands on Adam's six scissors. Therefore, six of the games, not necessarily in order, were as follows: Adam: scissors vs. Eve: rock [Winner: Eve]

Adam: scissors vs. Eve: rock [Winner: Eve]

Adam: scissors vs. Eve: paper [Winner: Adam]

Adam: scissors vs. Eve: paper [Winner: Adam]

Adam: scissors vs. Eve: paper [Winner: Adam]

Adam: scissors vs. Eve: paper [Winner: Adam]

Now look at what is left over. We see that Eve has only scissors left. Therefore, the other four games are:

Adam: rock vs. Eve: scissors [Winner: Adam]

Adam: rock vs. Eve: scissors [Winner: Adam]

Adam: rock vs. Eve: scissors [Winner: Adam]

Adam: paper vs. Eve: scissors [Winner: Eve]

Tally it all up, and Adam wins, 7 to 3.

4. First, the farmer must take the chicken across the river, leaving the fox and corn alone together on the starting side. Then, the farmer goes back and gets the fox. When he takes the fox across the river, instead of leaving the fox alone with the chicken, he swaps them out and takes the chicken back to the starting side. He then swaps the chicken out for the corn and brings it across, leaving the fox and corn alone on the far side. Finally, he goes back to get the chicken, bringing all three items across the river without letting anything eat anything else.

5. The only way to be absolutely certain you will know which crates contain which fruits is if you ask your co-worker to pull a fruit out of the crate that is labeled "A+O" to show to you. You know the crate is incorrectly labeled, so it doesn't have both apples and oranges in it. So if he pulls an apple out of the "A+O" crate, it has apples in it. If he pulls an orange out, it has oranges. Let's say he pulls an apple out of the "A+O" crate, so you know it has apples in it. Now you know that the crate labeled "O" doesn't have just apples in it, because the "A+O" crate is the one with just apples in it, and you know the "O" crate doesn't have just oranges in it, because it is incorrectly labeled. So the "O" crate must have both apples and oranges in it, which leaves the "A" crate with just oranges.