February 2022 Newsletter

(Edited PC Version.)

Hi everyone, welcome to 2022. Let's hope this year goes just as our summer has so far…brilliantly! 2022 promises to show us an end to covid restrictions with the new omicron variant looking more like a mild flu rather than the killer some would have us believe. News out of the UK is encouraging with reports indicating that yes, omicron is more contagious, but far less lethal. The UK, along with other European nations, have scrapped all covid mandates and restrictions. It is businesses as usual for the UK! Thank goodness for common sense.

My theme this month is Freedom.

Brain Teasers for February.

1. How many matchsticks do you need to remove so that no squares of any size remain?

2. Which is the least spoken language in the world?

3. A man describes his daughters, saying, “They are all blonde but two; all brunette but two; and all redheaded but two.” How many daughters does the man have?

4. In certain societies all parents stop having children right after they get their first boy. After 100 years, approximately what will be the percentage of the women in the society?

5. In what country can a man not marry his widow’s sister?

A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost.

He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted, “Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.” The woman below replied, “You are in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You are between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude.” “You must be an engineer,” said the balloonist. “I am,” replied the woman, “How did you know?” “Well,” answered the balloonist, “everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost. Frankly, you’ve not been much help so far.” The woman below responded, “You must be in Management.” “I am,” replied the balloonist, “but how did you know?” “Well,” said the woman, “you don’t know where you are or where you are going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it’s my fault!”

Not all doom and gloom around stock shortages though……… We have a number of LX and LX Plus Diesel all-wheel drive Sportages available for almost immediate delivery. Limited stock so first in first served.

Did you hear about the preschool teacher who was helping One of her kindergarten kids put on his gum boots? He asked for help and she could see why. Even with her pulling and him pushing, the little boots still didn't want to go on. By the time they got the second boot on, she had worked up a sweat. She almost cried when the little boy said, "Teacher, They're on the wrong feet." She looked, and sure enough, They were. It wasn't any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on. She managed to keep her cool as together they worked to get the boots back on, this time on the right feet. He then announced, "These aren't my boots." She bit her tongue, rather than get right in his face and scream, "Why didn't you say so?" like she wanted to. Once again, she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off his little feet. No sooner had they gotten the boots off when he said, "They're my brother's boots. My Mum made me wear them. Now she didn't know if she should laugh or cry. But, she mustered up what grace and courage she had left to wrestle the correct boots on his feet again….done. Helping him into his coat, she asked, Now, its cold outside, where are your Mittens?" He said, "stuffed in the toes of my boots."


Did you know that Kia has an extensive Hybrid, plugin hybrid, and full EV range? Click below for more information…..

Watch the world beating Kia EV6 take on supercars….amazing! Click on the picture below……

Moral Dilemma…..this joke is a little risque….so skip this joke if you are easily offended….but it is funny…! An elderly man who lived on the outskirts of Rimini, Italy, went to the local church for confession. When the priest slid open the panel in the confessional, the man said: “Father… During World War II, a beautiful woman from our neighbourhood knocked urgently on my door and asked me to hide her from the Nazis. So I hid her in my attic.” The priest replied: “That was a wonderful thing you did, and you have no need to confess that.” “There is more to tell, Father.. She started to repay me with sexual favors. This happened several times a week, and sometimes twice on Sundays.” The priest said, “That was a long time ago and by doing what you did, you placed the two of you in great danger, but two people under those circumstances can easily succumb to the weakness of the flesh. However, if you are truly sorry for your actions, you are indeed forgiven.” “Thank you, Father. That’s a great load off my mind. I do have one more question.” “And what is that?” asked the priest. “Should I tell her the war is over?

Nine Months Later…… John decided to go skiing with his buddy, Keith. So they loaded up John’s minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night. ‘I realize it’s terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I’m recently widowed,’ she explained. ‘I’m afraid the neighbours will talk if I let you stay in my house.’ ‘Don’t worry,’ John said. ‘We’ll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we’ll be gone at first light.’ The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night. Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way. They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing. But about nine months later, John got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined it was from the attorney of the attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend. He dropped in on his friend Keith and asked, ‘Keith, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up north about nine months ago?’ ‘Yes, I do,’ said Keith. ‘Did you happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?’ ‘Well, um, yes!’ Keith said, a little embarrassed about being found out, ‘I have to admit that I did.’ ‘And did you happen to give her my name instead of telling her your name?’ Keith’s face turned beet red and he said, ‘Yeah, look, I’m sorry mate, I’m afraid I did.’ ‘Why do you ask?’ ‘She just died and left me everything.’ 😁😂🤣.

The Kia family of vehicles...simply the best! Click the picture below to view.

That’s it for February 2022. I am looking forward to another awesome year in paradise with the expectation that omicron, based on reports from overseas, will be just another mild flu, and we can all get back to normality based on some common sense.

I am going to leave the last word to Bill Leslie, our customer and friend…..

As I age, I find I am comparing myself to an older car I once owned, with myself being a 1940 model. I now find myself with a battered grill, the chassis welded in a few places, the body work changing from a sleek sedan to SUV shape, my paint work wont hold a polish, and has bald spots. The self starter is very slow, and the battery wont hold a charge, the fuel tank is very expensive to fill and I seem to need better refined oil. Unlike the car, I stopped smoking some time ago, but I find I need additives to keep my fuel pump working, to prevent my radiator leaking and stop my exhaust backfiring. I overheat going uphill, but as my journey is now on a downward slope, I worry about brake failure. As all my parts are well worn and well used, I hope to avoid the wreckers yard. I am unsure about making arrangements for when my warrant expires. Do you think I should go straight to the landfill or go via the incinerator? I am a bit worried as both options could leave a toxic residue that could cause kauri dieback! Bill.

Brain Teaser answers.

1. Nine matchsticks is the minimum. There is more than one solution.

2. Sign language is the least SPOKEN language in the world.

3. Three Daughters, one blonde, one brunet, and one redhead.

4. The answer is 50%. The reason is that no matter what birth plan the society comes up with, the chance for having a boy or a girl during every birth is 50/50.

5. In no country can a man marry his widow’s sister because he would be dead.