April 2022

Hi all, the Elephant has now left the room and things are back to normal. My head pops up from time to time now and then, and no one appears to be shooting at me. Maybe I am being lulled into a false sense of security so I will proceed with caution…nah….business as usual….foot in mouth etc….😁😇😜 I recently attended the launch of the all new Kia EV6 full electric vehicle, the first of many new EV’s coming through from Kia. All that I can say to you all is that you really have to see and drive this vehicle to appreciate just how amazing it is! Stunning is not even a strong enough word to describe this all new vehicle…..yeee haaa is probably more like it. We have a demo here at the yard just waiting for you to try. Even if you are not in the market for a new EV you are welcome to drive and experience the future just for your interests sake. This vehicle is so good it needs to be shared….and that’s not PC BS and is absolutely 100% my opinion and that of Kia NZ!! The EV6 is truly inspirational and so for this reason my theme for May will be Inspirational quotes from some very clever people.👍

Brain teasers for May.

1. A teacher enters the classroom and sees on the first row two students sitting next to each other, looking completely identical. She asks them if they are twins, but the students simultaneously reply that they are not. After checking in the records, the teacher furthermore discovers that the two children have the same mother and father. What is the explanation?

2. How can a toddler fall out of a 100-story building window onto the ground and still be alive?

3. A cow is tied to a 4 meter long rope. There is food, 20 meters away from the cow. However, the cow manages to get to the food and eat it. How come?

4. During World War II, the mathematician Abraham Wald was asked to help with determining which parts of the allied forces’ planes must be better armored. After examining the surviving American planes, he noticed that there were many holes in the fuselage, and very few in the engines. After careful thinking, he suggested that the armor on the engines must be improved. Why?

5. Can you think of an English word that has three consecutive double letters?

A fit young man on a construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. After several minutes, one of the older workmen had had enough. “Why don’t you put your money where your mouth is?” he said. “One week’s wages says I can haul a load in a wheelbarrow over to that building that you won’t be able to wheel back.” “You’re on, old man,” the braggart replied. “Let’s see what you’ve got.” With that, the old man grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles, nodded to the young man, and said, “right, hop in.”

For those of you who don't know already - we have a great selection of late model used cars and SUV’s of various makes, as well as new Kia.

A prisoner in jail receives a letter from his wife: “Dear Husband, I have decided to plant some vegetables in the back garden. I have no money to hire someone to dig the back yard and I am too old to do it myself. Who could I call to help, and when is the best time to plant?” The prisoner, knowing that the prison guards read all mail, replied in a letter: “Dear Wife, whatever you do, do not touch the back garden. That is where I hid all the money.” A week or so later, he received another letter from his wife: “Dear Husband, You wouldn’t believe what happened, some men with shovels came to the house, and dug up all the back garden for me.” The prisoner wrote another letter back: “Dear wife, now is the best time to plant vegetables.

Do you know the origins of these old-fashioned sayings? Here in New Zealand, we are a melting pot of slang. From our colonial roots to the blending of our many different cultures, we have many wonderful old-fashioned sayings. Here are a few favourites and their origins to share with you.

• Pleased as Punch – from the 17th century puppet show Punch and Judy, where Punch was always happy with himself after he had killed someone.

• No spring chicken – from the time New England farmers sold their newborn chickens in the spring.

• Bite the bullet – when there was no time to perform anaesthesia, surgeons told their patients to bite the bullet to distract themselves from the pain.

•Blood is thicker than water – when warriors shed blood together in battle, they were said to build stronger bonds than biological family members.

•Break the ice – still happening today, ships would break the ice to get to a port in order to unload their cargo. People break the ice with each other when meeting, to help relax everyone.

•Sleep tight – originates from the time when mattresses had to be tied onto bed frames with ropes to make the bed firmer.

•Butter someone up – an Indian custom when clarified butter was thrown at statues of gods to show good favour.

•Go the whole 9 yards – dates back to World War 2 when fighter pilots were given a 9-yard chain of ammunition to fire at the enemy. If he did, he went the whole 9 yards. •Cat got your tongue – when the whip used the cat-o’-nine-tails was used by the English Navy for flogging, which left the victim speechless due to the pain.

•Let your hair down – from the time Parisian nobles could only let their hair down and relax at home, otherwise they’d face public condemnation.

•Kick the bucket – The wooden frame that was used to hang animals up by their feet for slaughter was called a bucket. Not unnaturally they were likely to struggle or to spasm after death and hence 'kick the bucket'.

•More than you can shake a stick at – dates back to the time when shepherds controlled their sheep by shaking their staffs in the direction the flock should move. •Rule of thumb – when a 17th century judge ruled that a husband could beat his wife with a stick if it was no wider than his thumb.

•Saved by the bell – to prevent people being buried alive, bodies in coffins had ropes attached to a bell they could ring if they weren’t dead.

•Waking up on the wrong side of bed – the left side of the body or doing anything with your left side was seen to be sinister. Innkeepers pushed the bed against a wall, so guests had to get out on the right side of bed.

A quick reminder that our workshop services all makes and models, but specialise in Kia, Hyundai and Isuzu. We have all of the gear and the expertise to ensure your car gets the best service possible at a fair and reasonable cost! We also do WOF’s on cars, campers, and trailers. It's a no brainer..…let your friends and family know to maybe to give us a try. We guarantee you will be happy!

Once, there was an elderly man and his wife who had lived a long and happy life together. They shared all their secrets and experiences with each other, but there was always one thing which the man’s wife asked him never to do: he must never open the old shoe box which she kept on the top shelf of her closet. The man had never once asked about the contents of the box. One day, his wife became ill. Soon her health deteriorated completely, and she asked her husband to bring her box to the hospital, because, she said, it was time to reveal its secret to him. The old man came home, found the box and opened it. Inside he saw two knitted dolls and a huge pile of money — all in all, there were $95,000! “But why? How?!” He struggled to calm down, stunned as he was by such a huge sum of money. “Before we got married,” said the old woman to her astonished husband, “my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage. It consists of just one rule: never argue with your partner. She also told me that every time I get angry with you, I have to sit down and make a knitted doll.” The old man felt touched when he heard these words — there were just two dolls in the box. During the whole 50 years of their life together, it seemed, he had angered his wife on only two occasions. He embraced his wife and kissed her. “But where did all that money come from?” he asked. “Oh, that..,” she said with a smile. “That’s the money I earned from selling dolls…”

An atheist was walking through the woods. ‘What majestic trees! ‘What powerful rivers! ‘What beautiful animals! He said to himself. Suddenly, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look…. and saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charging towards him. He ran as fast as he could along the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing on him…. He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer…. and then…. He tripped and fell. Rolling over to pick himself up, he found the bear was right on top of him……… reaching towards him with its left paw….. and raising the right paw to strike… At that instant the Atheist cried out, ‘God save me!’ Time Stopped… The bear froze… The forest was silent… A bright light shone upon the man, and a voice came out of the sky… “You deny my existence for all these years, you teach others I don’t exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident…. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament?” “Am I now to count you as a believer?” The atheist looked directly into the light…. “It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now… but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian?” *…a pause…* “Very well,” said the voice… The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed…. the bear dropped his right arm… brought both paws together… bowed his head & spoke… *”Lord, bless this food, which I am about to receive.* *Amen.”*

Can you believe we are all but 1/3rd of the way through 2022! A day is still a day, a week a week, a month a month, and a year is still a year, yet time seems to be moving more quickly than ever before. This seems to be more the case as we all age, and now that I am a spritely 60, the trend has continued from my perspective….although I am starting from 1 again…60…61…62…63…etc. The distraction that Covid has brought has compounded the perception that time is moving more quickly, as we all wait for an end to the disaster that is covid. The good news is, covid is soon to be a distant memory of some very surreal times. To keep it all in perspective, we could be living in the Ukraine…..insane times. I will say no more than that. ????. Stay safe and don't forget to drop in for a coffee when passing…and to take the EV6 for a spin….mind blowingly good!

Brain Teaser Answers.

1.They are two of triplets and therefore not twins.

2.The toddler fell from the ground floor window.

3.The cow was tied to the rope, however the other end of the rope was not tied to anything, so the cow could roam freely.

4.Abraham Wald realized that the holes should have been distributed more evenly across the planes. Therefore the planes which had more holes in the fuselage survived, while the planes which had more holes in the engines got destroyed.

5.The word is Bookkeeper.

Normally I add the Kia Connect newsletter to the bottom of my newsletter, but this month I thought I would add a link to take you to the official Kia news site…click on the link for more articles, info, and news…… https://www.kia.co.nz/about-kia/kia-news/